I am relatively inexperienced when it comes to sex. Let me clarify, before recently I'd only had a coerced fucking with my boss more than 6 years ago and a smattering of awkward grabby semi passionate fondlings with various persons.
I thought I needed passionate, fuck like dogs, 'take me' sex in-order to reach climax. Recently I've begun letting someone into my life who is deeply caring, honest and one of the best communicators I've ever interacted with.
The sex was not good. I couldn't figure out why. And then we talked.
Mind altering surprise, I found that he wanted to connect with me, to actually make tender love.
What?!
I mean honestly, I've never met a man who wanted to make tender love to me, and connect. And I never let myself conceive that it would ever, I mean ever, happen. Now, I knew I would fall in love and that a man would fall in love with me some day. But I had convinced myself that gentle caring sex was something fictional men wanted and that such interactions from a flesh and blood man would be a compromise for what they believed I wanted. And since what I really want is what they want, I just concluded that it would never happen and it was silly to even contemplate it.
I don't think I'll ever be the same again after that night. My heart feels like a wet towel being wrung dry when I think about how he touched me. The expression in his eyes floored me. I'm frightened by how bonded I feel to him now.
But I also feel lucky to have been slapped in the face and waggled a finger at about my misconceptions.
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The common misconceptions of modern lovemaking are many, to be sure.
ReplyDeleteHowever your attention to their existence and your self-permission to see beyond them is the very chain you require to bind yourself inextricably to the beauty of knowing intimacy.
I'm so overwhelmingly happy to know that you're reaching a plain of such release.