Goals

I just had a really good conversation with a friend of mine who is relatively adept maintaining unbiased opinions about where I am and what's happening in my life. I realized that having open communication with everyone in your life is essential for maintaining sanity.

When I left his company and went back out into the world I quickly incorporated it into every avenue of my life.

I established a relationship with a personal banker at my bank and I asked for help. I've always been terrible with the concept of banks and numbers printed out in list format. He worked with me on how to manage my finances better, something I realized I wanted more then to have fees dismissed. I wanted to figure out how to not get into the situations I've been getting into financially.

Then I spoke with a few people who have been pending on my list of frustrations and worries. We talked candidly and worked things out.

A new friend of mine told me that he found it fascinating how I throw myself into challenges, always pushing for improvement; self or otherwise. And that's honestly how I want to live my life. I've found that finding the solution to problems isn't the goal but the strength and knowledge gained in finding the solution is. Dancing around issues causes the crazy to happen internally. I absolutely love talking bluntly and to the point. When interactions are transparent I feel calmer inside.

This morning I awoke to a mind of unrest. I felt weighed down by the troubles in my life to such a degree, that I wanted to hide in my bed for long enough of a time that the things might disappear. I've learned that ignoring problems only makes them compound until you're basically, please excuse the language, fucked.

I'm a strong person. I know this. I've worked hard to be this way.