The Challenge

Being a single submissive is so difficult at times.

I feel like there are two parts of me. The innocent sub waiting to be led and protected. And the watchful observant mother looking for that right Dom for my submissive side. I'm like a new mother who knows nothing and has no idea what I'm doing.

I have a deep sadness inside of me that feels the profound lonely. I watch, talk and learn and still that 'one' never shows. In some ways I know exactly what I want but fear that I am too limiting in what I seek.

I am freely open about myself and my inner desires yet I stay separate, I hold back. Still, how would I know if the right Dom were standing right in front of me staring me in the face?

Other times I feel like I am too serious about it. I am told regularly to stop looking and enjoy the moment and I can appreciate the merit in that statement. After all it has only been a month. I enjoy the people I have met and feel a connection with most. I have had a glorious time playing and learning.

Still the sadness is there. I know myself well enough to know that this is a passing phase and that I will be back to my jovial self, laughing and teasing.

I suppose this is the best lesson in patience, something I greatly lack.