We were bound together back to back. As the ropes were applied, it created that floaty drugged feeling I always seem to have whenever they touch my skin.
During the scene, as my friend was receiving the pain I couldn't, every strike sent shivers through my whole body like an aftershock.
There was a small pile of instruments that were used and as it dwindled to none I felt a sigh of relief flow through me. When the inflicter walked over to where the pile had been, he hesitated. Slowly he turned around with fingers splayed and looked devilishly at the simplest of tools, his hand. I have to admit I was glaring.
Throughout the experience I felt determined to take the brunt of the pain knowing I could handle more than my friend. Surprisingly I handled much more than I thought possible for me. I loved the challenge and felt completely alert but 'gone'.
When the scene was through and the ropes were off I had a deep trembling in me that I'm not quite sure was visible to those who watched. Thinking on it now- I still tremble.
My friend glanced at me and with the simple comment, "You were such a trooper" I fell into sobs. It was liberating and cathartic as the tears flowed easily. The Dom gently smoothed my hair and rubbed my shoulder, my head resting on his standing torso. I felt calm and deeply at peace.
I later saw a photo of my face immediately after having been struck and the expression fascinated me. My distant smile and a pain filled grimace seemed to coexist nicely.
There were oh so many levels to my experience.
That night, when I arrived home, I fell int a deep sleep that I haven't felt since childhood.
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