An even more difficult year

I just got this email from my mother...

Well,

I was going to call each of you individually... but frankly I can't stand to cry that much.  So... I'm sending an email so you'll all know what's happening with your Dad.

All of his tumors are growing, some have quadrupled in size and there are new tumors too.  So, he's definitely off the study.  Which is a good thing because it caused bad sores in his mouth, making it difficult for him to eat.  And it also made him sleep all the time.  He's lost over 20 pounds over the last few weeks.  So, they'll be moving on to the next level of chemo.

They use each round of chemo until it's not effective any more and the tumors start growing again.  And there are only about 6 or 7 different kinds that are used to fight his kind of cancer.  Dr. *  said that we are entering the 4th round of chemo and with that comes certain things.

Each level of chemo is stronger and the side effects are worse.  He's going to start the next round on Tuesday and only has to travel once a week, which is nice.  With this chemo he has to take steroids because there is a high incidence of allergic reaction.  The drug attacks the cancer, but also attacks the nervous system and most people will have painful tingling in their fingers and toes.  The effectiveness of this drug is about 8 weeks.  At that point, the tumors will start growing again and they'll have to move to the next level.  

Each level of chemo becomes less and less effective and lasts for a shorter time.  He will be on chemo forever at this point, unless he decides he needs a break.  Dr. * told him that at some point he might want to stop chemo all together.  That it's not giving up, it's just saying I'm tired and I need a break.  I'm glad she said that.  Because we make such a big deal about "never give up, never surrender" at chess club and I didn't want him to think it also applied to this... refusing to play the game is a perfectly valid thing to do too.

Dr. * talked to us about hospice care.  Not right now.  But, it is coming.  She said you can always hope that one of these drugs will react favorably with the cancer and he'll get significantly better.  But the chances of that are very low.  She said that we'll start with hospice when your father gets too tired to travel to the city, or the side effects are just too uncomfortable for a drive.

Okay, so that's everything I know right now.  

I don't think your Dad wants to talk about the cancer.  It makes him feel sad.  So, just come and spend time with him.  Play cribbage.  Watch TV.  If he wants to talk about things, he will.  We have to be strong for him and for each other.  

Love,

Mom