Punishment

This evening... Well, let me explain.

I hung out with a sub friend of mine playing games with an huge group of friends. For some time the two of us have wanted to be intimate with eachother and there were several lesbians at the game night. My friend and I became very excited at the prospect of exploring eachother and left quite early from the fun.

Her husband and Dom was at home and we were hoping to create an interesting scene. I've played with them before and feel quite comfortable with the two of them, even more so now that we understand and know eachother better.

When we arrived home He was in quite the mood. So, she and I started exploring on our own. Now, this is something that has been discussed with the two of them previously.

 We both were new to homosexual exploration and giggled like sisters. Neither of us knew what to do and neither of us took a dominant role to move things forward. We took it to the bedroom and just touched eachother. She was amazingly soft, curvy and gentle. She recomended bringing out the strap on.

She helped me figure out the straps and do dads. I had no idea how difficult men have it. Granted I couldn't feel my 'cock'. But she seemed to be enjoying it. We switched and I have to say that was quite pleasant. The great thing about adding the toy was that it helped establish loose roles. She had me on my stomach and was in me from behind when he came in.

I could tell by her body language that things weren't okay. He was angry that we hadn't asked permission. He was quite right. We defiantly overstepped our bounds. I'd had passing warning thoughts about what we were doing. I had no idea he would feel so strongly about it. I felt like a child caught stealing cookies.  He grilled my friend and then took out the cane. I shuddered instantly.

With the person I play with regularly we've established the cane for punishment only. I've always been terrified of the object and felt silly for associating so much fear with it. Through conversation with him we linked the cane to specific moments in my childhood. The sound of the swooshing sends bolts of panic through me and I want desperately to run away. It brings me back to those feelings of helplessness and terror.

He had her on the edge of the bed and made me count each thwack. I was crying as I watched her receive the punishment. Every swing made me jump like it was happening to me too. I was curled up on the opposite corner of the bed clutching a pillow. At one point I stopped counting, panicked and quickly recounted the sounds I'd heard.

After 30 strikes he told me to get on the edge of the bed. There was a passing thought of just running away. But I couldn't even consider it, I knew I deserved it. My friend is certainly more of a masochist than I. I was terrified that I would receive the same treatment as it was almost too much for her.

15 strikes later with me sobbing on the bed he told us to continue and left the room closing the door behind him. She and I held one another crying and apologizing to eachother.

It's not exactaly how I hoped the evening would go. Still, on some level it was compelling. To be brought to that state is always an interesting journey. I don't enjoy the process of getting there, and the residual feelings of guilt and unworthiness linger for a while.

It seems that my friend and I are constantly getting into trouble. I worry that he won't want me around anymore.

I know I can be a better sub.